Predictions on Breaking Bad – Volume 1 (4 Remaining)
OK, so this plan was ill-conceived from the get-go. The only person who’s gonna read this is me at the office when I’m bored tomorrow, but we’re gonna do the damn thing anyways.
Once a week for the last 5 weeks (including this week) we’re going to get the general feel from everyone at my apartment on reactions/predictions for what’s going to happen next in the remaining episodes of Breaking Bad. Maybe I’ll get lucky and get Pel and his household to comment, maybe not. It’s often the most hastily developed plans that bomb miserably, but we’re here to buck that trend. Here are the participants:
T (Me) – Watched the entirety of the show in the two months leading up to this final season. Increased heart rate and push-ups ensued.
Tim – May be an even bigger fan-boy than me.
Alex – Has never seen the show. We fill him in and he tells us what he thinks is next.
T: Great episode we just witnessed last night. To steal the words out of Tim’s mouth, “every episode has been the best episode ever.” It seems like they could always fade to black 2 minutes before the end of the episode and it would still be an amazing ending. They don’t settle for that crap though; Walt and Hank get into a brawl, Jesse gets a hit put out on him, or a shoot-out starts (and oddly lasts for upwards of 15 seconds with nobody getting shot and nobody running out of bullets).
THE PREDICTION: Jesse gets hit in the shoot-out, lives, and becomes a less relevant participant in the remaining episodes to the dismay of everyone. Walt gets away with the Neo-nazis, and Hank survives to continue chasing him down. Too many episodes left for this chase to end and we already know Walt changes his identity.
Tim: I’m going to have to expedite this post because the Eagles appear to be blowing this Monday night game.
THE PREDICTION: Hank gets hit in the shootout and Walt needs to decide if he should drive him to safety. Walt indeed does and drives incapacitated Hank to hospital, and then takes off. Jesse stays put at the site after he is captured by the white supremacist guys. Walt spares Jesse…not sure how their relationship is resolved. Walt’s return that prefaced the season happens and Walt is in fact coming back to kill Todd and gang. Gomez dies in the shootout and nobody is that upset.
Alex: The whole reason for this show is because Walt thinks that cooking meth will cure his cancer, right? Dude, it’s not this guy’s (he had to point at a picture because he doesn’t know the character’s names) fault that these bad people have surrounded him.
THE PREDICTION: Hank dies, his last words being, “Meth is not the answer to cancer”. Hank’s body is then inexplicably taken, and he is crucified by the whole town, who for no reason whatsoever turns on him (**NOTE FROM T**: This may be a subtly brilliant move by Alex here. I could totally see Walt coming back and, in sinister fashion, getting everyone to hate Hank).
Pel: First off, after that minute and a half of shooting (so it seemed), how has Hank’s fat ass not gotten hit yet? Whatever – they just needed to keep us guessing as to who comes out on top in this exchange.
THE PREDICTION: It’ll be Walt – eventually. Walt, being the mix of Macgyver, Mendeleyev, and Satan that he is – comes up with his best escape yet. He finds some riot gear/DEA stuff on the floor of Hank’s car – and BOOM! Smoke bomb! Throws that shit on the ground and runs off into the hills. When the smoke clears, everyone’s out of bullets. Plot twist #1: Jesse comes climbing out of the car and tells all these meth-head Neo-Nazi’s that he knows where Walt’s buried all of his money. They decide to team-up to go looking for the ‘booty. Walt meanwhile calls Saul to come pick him up – grabs his spare bag of money and calls up the dude that can help him disappear. After the Neo-Nazi’s find the money, they then take Hank, Gomez, and Jesse hostage. After a couple months of captivity, Hank begins to enjoy taking it up the butt, Jesse is forced to cook meth for them, and Gomez dies of dysentery. Walt comes back with a vengeance at the end with a freakin M60 and goes to town on everyone, gets what’s left of his money back, and rides off into the sunset to die 6 weeks later of – Plot twist #2: dysentery, not cancer.
(Side Note: The new Eagles offense is soo dope – pumped for this season.)
To get updates on posts:Follow @VonTeeland